Mentoring is enjoying unprecedented popularity. It has shifted from a “would be nice” to have soft-skill to a “must-have” talent development tool. Along with its increased popularity, a shift in how it is practiced has also occurred. Read the rest of Don’t Settle for Low Hanging Fruit! »
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One of the most important benefits of a mentoring partnership is the candid feedback that occurs when both parties engage in it with each other.
Getting honest feedback from peers and supervisors in a work environment is challenging. The pervasive concerns are always about how it will be taken, fear of damaging the relationship, and the potential for resistance. If one or more parties tend to be conflict averse, it makes it even less likely that they will engage in candid feedback. In mentoring, just the opposite occurs. Mentees look to their mentors as a trusted source of candid feedback.
Mentees appreciate receiving feedback because they know it is given in good faith, with the intention of improving their performance and supporting their long-term development and career success. Mentors and mentees who commit to building their own competency and confidence in the feedback process report more positive outcomes than those who do not.
When Joe was assigned Henri as a mentor, he expected to get feedback about how he was doing and how upper management perceived him. Despite asking Henri several times about how thought things were going and what he was hearing, all Joe ever heard is, “everything’s fine.” Joe found it hard to believe that there wasn’t something to work on and began to suspect that there really was an underlying problem. Because Henri wasn’t offering specifics, Joe started second-guessing everything he was hearing from Henri. He began to dread mentoring meetings and rarely invested energy in their conversations.
What went wrong?
Clearly, absence of candid conversation and a clear feedback process undermined the trust in this mentoring partnership.
What can you do?
1. Start your relationship with the expectation that feedback will be part of the process.
2. Create ground rules and agreements about when, how often, and what process is best suited to your relationship.
3. Tell the truth; develop a habit of straight talk and don’t let either side stray.
4. Balance candor with compassion, but tell it like you see it.
5. Encourage your mentee to be candid. It is hard for mentees, especially new hires and those in the lower tiers of the organization, to speak up.
6. Be positive. Offer positive feedback along with constructive comments.
7. Show appreciation even when you receive negative feedback. Remember: it requires courage to offer negative feedback.
8. Practice difficult conversations.
9. Master behaviors and processes that can help you become more effective at constructive feedback.
10. Focus on what can be changed.
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From Our Mentoring Mailbag…. Read the rest of Identifying The Hat You Are Wearing When Giving Feedback »
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Each mentoring relationship is just as unique as the individuals in it and needs to work for both mentoring partners. Read the rest of How structured should a mentoring relationship be? »
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Let’s take a page from Gray’s anatomy to look at the some of the roles today’s smart savvy mentor’s play: Read the rest of Mentoring from Head to Toe »
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Are you looking at mentoring someone right now?
Have you mentored someone in the past or considering mentoring someone in the future? Read the rest of Preparation is Key to Success »
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I have just read Adam Bryant’s interview with Kathy Button Bell for the third time and it should be required reading for new and experienced mentors. Sure, it may be entitled, “Endurance on the Field and at Work,” but it could just have easily been called “All About Mentoring.” It is a testimony to the power of mentoring, the centrality of learning in a mentoring relationship for both the mentor and mentee. Read the rest of Mentoring Extraordinaire »
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There is an old saying that goes, “If there is no target to aim at you will hit it everytime.” When goals are not defined mentoring proceeds along a meandering path. Clarifying and articulating learning goals requires inquiry and conversation so that the goals that are selected, are meaningful and guide the work of the relationship.
Being knowledgeable about a mentee’s learning style offers a starting point and assists you in knowing when to step forward and when to hold back, and how to honor specific learning styles that help to facilitate the learning. For example, if your mentee is a very logical person who is data driven and fact-oriented and you are someone who operates more intuitively, you will adjust the learning in a manner more suitable to your mentee’s needs.
What is your learning style? How might it impact your mentoring relationships?
Learn more about the goal driven mentoring relationship and Begin with the End in Mind!
One of the best ways to keep a mentoring relationship fresh is to take advantage of multiple learning opportunities. Once you and your mentoring partner get to know each other you will have a much clearer understanding about your mentee’s situation and learning needs. Perhaps your mentee could benefit by exposure to additional knowledge, skills and experience. By reaching out to colleagues and professional networks you may be able to find out what kinds of learning opportunities they might have had or have available to your mentee.
Brainstorm a list of learning opportunities together with your mentee. As you do thinking about learning style, context, goals and timing.
Consider learning opportunities within the organization and external to the organization.
Look at your list and discuss the answers to the following:
- Which ones will help the mentee gain exposure to new learning?
- Which will reinforce learning?
- Which will accelerate learning?
Try to flesh out your list so that it is robust. Think outside the box to generate ideas and don’t be surprised if your mentee comes up with ideas you’ve never considered.
When it comes to the dynamics of mentoring relationships between men and women old stereotypes hold fast: women are generally more internally focused and put a priority on building relationships, valuing care, concern, and connection. Men tend to focus externally first, on tasks and results. The new model reflects a shifting paradigm that is collaborative and egalitarian. Read the rest of Seeing Difference as a Learning Opportunity »
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